Tulips Are Evil

This is not a photo of tulips.

Yes, it seems obvious, but it was supposed to be a photo of tulips….perhaps vibrant red tulips dancing under a clear blue sky or yellow tulips swaying in the breeze of an approaching storm. It didn't really matter as long as there were tulips in the frame, just a few brilliant colorful blooms of spring in front of my lens.

Foiled again by the revengeful little flowers!

Every spring the internet is filled with bright and beautiful images from the Skagit Valley. It’s downright embarrassing that during my eight years in Seattle, I've never visited the tulip fields in their April glory. They are less than sixty minutes away but each and every time I plan a trip, something comes up and thwarts my intentions.

My son is sick…the camera breaks…I am sick…the car breaks down…my son is sick again…the list goes on and on.

Last year, I thought I had the flowers beat. The family was in the car and we were on our way excited and expectant. We were less than 30 minutes from the fields when the first raindrops hit the windshield. There was no doubt in my mind that we were going to make it to the flowers. Despite the rapidly increasing rainfall, Seattle is known for bursts of precipitation followed by impossibly sunny skies. We would push onward. The closer we got, however, the harder the rain fell until it was pretty obvious that the entire trip was going to turn into a disaster. I spent the afternoon eating away my sorrows at the casino buffet.

It was almost as if the flowers knew I was coming.

Last Sunday I hatched a plan. I would leave Monday morning after I dropped my son off at school and sneak up silently on the flowers. I vowed to speak to no one about it as I pushed through the day getting the household chores done. When the shopping, packing, washing, cleaning, and cooking were finished I broke my silence and dropped a line to a couple of friends inviting them along.

A short time later I found the metal hook on the garage floor.

It lay there in the middle of the garage innocently enough. It was just a little metal hook but it shouldn't have been there. A few minutes of poking around produced no obvious source. I was just about to toss it aside when I looked up and realized its former home.

The springs and cables of the garage door were wrapped around in a broken mess, signaling their immediate Monday morning attention.

Are you kidding me? Seriously?

The tulips had struck again.

You can be naive and put tulips in the same innocent category as sunshine and rainbows but I know better. They are evil little things capable of wreaking havoc and destruction over great distances. Go ahead and tip toe through the tulips with your camera but you won’t see me there. I will be staying far, far away.

P.S. Thanks to all my new followers!! ....oh and this image is from Joshua Tree National Park in California on a very cold, frosty, and foggy morning.